adandoned changes in the reality of loving you.

Too many thoughts of you plague my mind at the same time. Sometimes i can't breath and it suffocates me. When you tell me that you don't love me the way i want you to love me. I am still happy that you even love me at all. The fact that i am in your thoughts make me happier than if you'd ever say you were thinking of me.

You've hurt me, but in order to hurt me you had to have me in mind to hurt. That means i was in your thoughts, in your mind. That means you took me into consideration, that means that in order to hurt me you had to care.

For you not to care, you had to have cared once.
These are the things i am telling myself constantly while i insist that i don't love you.

If there was a way to learn the structure of you smile, down to the last detail and be able to trace it along the palm of my hand... I'd be able to do that.
That is how much i don't love you.

I keep letting go and looking for some form of closure... but it's been there all the time, in the form of you. You are it. The reason i keep having to leave... but the only reason i decide to stay.

I don't understand why i love you so much.
So much that my heart is physically broken.

'the only one whose got enough of me to break my heart...'
-teardrops on my guitar, Taylor Swift.