just my luck*

with all the lucky stars,
four leaf clovers and birthday candles
i've always had one wish,
a wish for true love...
it is yet to come.
now i know that my fate is in the hands writing these words...
he isn't perfect,
he's damaged,
a disaster,
but he's there,
all of him...
Our love has never been tested,
in fact its still to be known...
i know nothing for sure,
only that he thinks i'm perfect...

the heart, harvested

he grabbed her and hand and lead her into the room,
"sit down,"he said,
she sat on the bed, waited...
and then it came, the hard blow to her upper lip and the second to her abdomen, she'd misbehaved again...
"i'm sorry!"she screamed and screamed over and over,
he didn't listen.
"i love you!" he shouted above her sobs,
"i love you and you keep hurting me!" he started to cry as he beat her,
they both heard the crack of her rib as she fell to the floor,
"baby, you're killing me," she whispered
"please stop!" she cried a little louder
he ignored her, draggin her across the room to the bathroom,
"get cleaned up, we're going out..."
she lay in the bath,
submersed completely in steaming hot water and thought about not getting up...
"what if i stayed here?" she asked herself,
"what if i just didn't get up...
"what if i didn't breath...?"
but there it was again,
the voice of reason,
"hurry the fuck up!
"she thought she'd try to make a change as she rubbed her strawberry smelling lotion on her scarred body, as she pulled up her lacy black leggings he bought her for valentines day,she thought she'd fix it as she slid into his favourite red dress and let her long dark hair down her back, she thought she'd make it all better as she slipped into the black crocodile heels and picked up her bag,
"i'll make him see," she said to herself as she dabbed the fruit scented perfume behind her ears and down her breasts,
she walked down the stairs,
he was waiting for her...
"where are we going?" she asked,
he didn't answer
"hey... where are we going?"
she asked again, he didn't answer.
he opened the front door, there was a limo outside,
black, velvet and classy,
she opened the door herslef and climbed inside without a word...
he climbed in after.
"i want you to behave tonight" he said sternly
and didn't speak again until the car stopped.

the restaurant was packed,
there was laughter and conversation everywhere,
he guided her to a table in the back,
where the room was lit ever so slightly...
she sat down,
she waited for him to take his seat,
but he didn't,
"i'll be right back" he said and disappeared into the front of the restaurant,
"this is my chance she thought as she reached into her bag for her lip gloss,
"i need to do it now...
"the waiter arrived and asked what she wanted to drink,
she knew better than to order without him,
so she smiled and shook her head,
he returned instantly,
"what was that?" he asked,
"what was what?" she looked puzzled,
he put his hand to her face, she flinched,
he caressed her cheek,
"i told you to behave" he said smiling, he pulled her ear hard,
"don't make me angry..."he sat down and reached for her knee under the table,
he pinched her...
"ouch!" she gasped...he ignored her once again.

when the waiter returned he ordered a bottle of sweet whiite wine,
"make sure its chilled," he said in his professional voice and the waiter walked away...

after the third glass of wine, her head was spinning,
"i need to do this now," she thought...
"hey... " she took his hand,
"can i talk to you about something real quick?"
he looked at her with daring eyes and smiled,
"marry me?"
his words were not a question,
his eyes were not asking,
his grip was not gentle,
his smile not inviting,
but she heard herself say...
"okay..."

the good time girl

the good time girl is gorgeous,
she has decieving eyes, full cherry lips and long satin hair,

the good time girl laughs and smiles and oozes flair,

the good time girl dances like there's no tomorrow,
always the life of the party,

the good time girl is smart,
she only buys versace,

your money she spends,
your time she takes,
she always game for the next date

she'll kiss and touch and sometimes go all the way,
but the good time girl doesn't stay,

she awaits the arrival
of the next"mr right-now"
and off show she goes on nights
on the town,

taking his time, his money and his heart,
she never utters the words,
"never shall we part"

because off she goes into the night,
with the next edition of mr right...

she cries when she's alone,
wondering about love,
she asks for answers from someone above,

she claims to not know and not to care,
about the nameless faces that have smelt her hair,
that have kissed her lips and given her their souls,

she knows she'll never break the mould
that has crafted itself around her heart,
see?
i told you,
the good time girl was smart,

she knows how it feels to have it broken,
by the words she has never spoken,

she'll never fall in love with you or the other,
not after the hurt she recieved from another,

you'll give her all you can possibly give,
you'll promise her love and always to live
with her in your heart,
that you're never to part
and you'll tell her these things from the start,

but she won't believe you,
or the other,
the love she wants is from another,

he's far away,
he couldn't stay,
so the good time girl is all for play,

take her out and make her smile,
the good time girl will only be here for a while...

in one night

i knew that he wasn't available to begin with, thats what made him so intriguing,

He wasn't hesitant during the night,
watching me dance and passing my drinks ,
sitting close to me in the car on the journey home,
No one seemed to notice the chemistry though,
our friends,
they were all so elated by the night and its antiques that we found ourselves in a world belonging entirely to him and me...

Like friends we flirted without words...
Harmless gestures like, silent glances, very innocent, but all so sweet...
My conscience seemed to fade as quickly as the sun set,
and as the stars settled and the night aged,
we became more and more aware of one another

The glances became meaningful stares,
more intense,
pouring through my eyes, into me...
telling me more than i'd allowed myself to imagine

He was shy, reserved and soft spoken,
he didn't say much,
but what he did say mattered

When he later took my hand and held it,
he did so secretly,
rubbing the insides of my palms with his thumbs,
i smiled from the inside out...
How could this young man, younger than i, be so...adorable!

I initiated our first kiss,
we were alone...
in his home,
in the living room,
it was dark, i couldn't see,
but i was guided by his scent and taken by his deliverance of the most perfect first kiss...
the softness touched my caged, enclosed, ever mending heart

Soon we were caught up in one another,
using all of our five senses...
Our eyes, to look and search for the reasons for our actions,
Our ears listening to the hastening of our own breathing,
Our fingers, touching all the secret places our bodies hid,
intertwined in one anothers,
tasting what could only be described as the forbidden fruit in the mysterious garden of Eden.

He smelled wonderful...
I removed all thoughts from my mind
and became consumed in the reckless yet sweet motions between us,
He was beautiful,
in every movement and moment and glance,

He was romancing me,
and i was supposed to be the romancer

When reality eased its way back to me, and i lay, ready to fall asleep,
aware of his presence in the room,
even though he was no longer next to me,
i knew we made love that night,
and for the first time in my life,
i felt like it.

I knew that the next day what we experienced would be a blur,
and he'd have to go back to her,
but that night he was mine,
he belonged to me, and made me feel as though
i could,
should
and would,
be treated like the angel he made me...

In one night, i fell
in one night i fell in love.