It could have been you.

It could have been you, who fell in love in an instant,
Who would have been able to close the distance
between your heart and mine,
Who could have let me shine
And be in the landing zone of deliverance.


It could have been you, who came across heartache,
You who had to feel it shake and break,
You who fumbled about for the pieces,
You who ironed out all the creases.

It could have been you who saw me every time like it was the first,
You who felt as though your entire being would burst
When I took your hand, kissed your smile, touched your skin,
It could have been you who felt like you could always win
With me by your side, with nothing to hide,
Except a truth you would never know.
It could have been you who loved with your heart and soul

You who needed me to make you whole,
You who my very happiness would make

And me...
Who your very happiness could take.

It could have been you, who cried yourself to sleep,
Who couldn't speak, but could only weep,
It could have been you, who felt each pain like singular droplets of acid rain,
Pouring down onto your face, to remind you of every chapter in my disgrace,

It could have been you who was disappointed at the sudden loss of my commitment.
It could have been you who had to learn the truth from outside elements who meant to hurt you,

It could have been you who was at a loss for words when I stumbled in front of you with honesty that burned
You who felt the itches as it burned.

It could have been you,
But it was me.
I was always me.
It will always be me…

My redemption song

You are what is.
What you are is what it is.
What it is is what I wanted for you to be...
My redemption song.
Not an escape or an immaculate fantasy...
My redemption song.
I'm not healed or saved.
Just redeemed.
You are my redemption song.
What is.
What it means.
What you are.
Love.
I love you.

We have a story.

The way we met.
The questions and the answers.
The smiles and the secret glances. The inner feelings. The tension and excitement. The slight movements. The sounds of the laughter.
The beginning.
The you's and the me's.

We have a story.

I remember when I first saw you.
I remember what you were wearing.
I remember exactly how you smelled.
I remember exactly how I felt.

I remember the secrets; they way they became bigger as time passed. But we always knew they were sealed secrets. I remember. Our secrets.

We have a story.

Loving and losing.
Loving and winning.
Leaving and forgiving.
Forgiving and Forgetting.

We have a story.
Tell me what you remember.

Love is a part of our story.
My First love. My first love story.

Tell me our story.

my hearts parasite

I know that you're still here, in my heart. I can feel when you knock against the walls, trying to escape... but u can't be set free. I can't save u from me... Yes, I know you’re unable to breathe... but I don't know how to help u without hurting me. if I puncture holes into my heart, u could get a glimpse of oxygen... but then my heart would stop working and I’d surely die... that's not what u want. Is it? Its dark in there... no, I didn't turn the lights out, it's the pain... the coolness of it has turned the walls darker, into a strong mould, so it's more difficult for u to inhale. The fumes of my devastation are deadly. I struggle to decide which is more fatal... keeping u in, or letting u out. I wonder if I can let go, if you'll just disappear from the space I made for u there. My heart isn't being very hospitable now that there are walls around it, is it now? But who put the walls there? Who damaged the gateway? Who fucked up the lighting with infidelity and mistrust? Not me... your a parasite and I want u out, right now!