my hearts parasite

I know that you're still here, in my heart. I can feel when you knock against the walls, trying to escape... but u can't be set free. I can't save u from me... Yes, I know you’re unable to breathe... but I don't know how to help u without hurting me. if I puncture holes into my heart, u could get a glimpse of oxygen... but then my heart would stop working and I’d surely die... that's not what u want. Is it? Its dark in there... no, I didn't turn the lights out, it's the pain... the coolness of it has turned the walls darker, into a strong mould, so it's more difficult for u to inhale. The fumes of my devastation are deadly. I struggle to decide which is more fatal... keeping u in, or letting u out. I wonder if I can let go, if you'll just disappear from the space I made for u there. My heart isn't being very hospitable now that there are walls around it, is it now? But who put the walls there? Who damaged the gateway? Who fucked up the lighting with infidelity and mistrust? Not me... your a parasite and I want u out, right now!