She was too precious

He always looked at her like she was the only being in his vision. This was both a blessing and a curse. He was bound to her, deeply involved in her and intoxicated with his love for her.
She was a bad decision. She mistreated and misunderstood him, but he never left her.
She was such a painful thought and she hurt him everyday.
She made him feel like he was nothing and yet her perfection was the reason he felt he had to stay.
She was too precious and she didn't deserve him but he loved her and even though that was his only justification, it was the onlyone that mattered.

upside down love

i hate that i wait
i hate that i care
i hate that
i know that
i want you here
i hate that when you text
i wish you'd just call
i hate that wanting you around means so much more
than anything
or anyone
or everything
and everyone.
i hate that it's been long enough to remember
i hate how the memories make my heart feel tender
and weak
and sad
and bleak
and mad
i hate how i make excuses in my head
of why you did the things you did
i hate how it hardly matters at all
i hate how easy it is to fall
i hate that i'm so in love with you
i hate it
especially because of the rollercoaster i road for you.
i hate it
i hate it
i hate it so much
but what i hate much more is how you diminish that hate
and gain my trust
and make me feel like a field of yellow daisies
happy and free
and completely fearless.

i hate what i hate but i'd never hate you

Less than perfect

You make me feel happy
You make me feel sad
When I think about the way you make me feel,
I feel bad.

I was never good enough,
always a second thought,
always the last option,
practically a last resort.

You make me feel excited,
but you crush my dreams.

You make me see myself differently to what I may seem.

But that isn't a good thing,
it's not good at all
You make me feel like I'm running a race
that I'm doomed to fail

You underestimate my strength
because my weakness is you
You make me feel not good enough
Not good enough for you

You always keep me waiting
You always call to late
You always think that it's ok to just let me wait.

You never say your sorry
You never take the blame
You never reassure my heart that things won't be the same

My emotions overflow for you
hate and happiness alike
my anger for you turns to passion as soon as our flame re-ignites

All the things you told me,
the secrets and the truths,
they're now all big back lies to me and I feel like the fool!

I feel less than perfect
Every. Single. Day.

I struggle with my heart and mind
How did I become this way?

Waiting up for hours
waiting for your calls
waiting for your next exit
awaiting your withdrawals
waiting for you to leave me
for the umpteenth time, again

I feel les than perfect,
but who am I to blame?

Would it be impulsive
to constantly blame you
After all this time and hurt I've gone through due to you.

It would be a lie if I said I no longer care
because I care a great deal
and that's what makes me scared.

Less that perfect
battered and torn
emotionally savaged
creatively bored
slightly overweight
sad eyes and everything

This is what I hate:

I want to be here
still in love with you
because that's the thing I do best
Just. Loving. You.

Being your safe haven,
the getaway you need.
The place you can escape to,
if ever you need.

I may be les than perfect
but I don't think you care
because I like to think that in some odd way;
You. Need. Me. Here.

Waiting in the shadows,
just in case you fall.

Waiting in imperfection,
Just. In. Case. You. Fall.