upside down love

i hate that i wait
i hate that i care
i hate that
i know that
i want you here
i hate that when you text
i wish you'd just call
i hate that wanting you around means so much more
than anything
or anyone
or everything
and everyone.
i hate that it's been long enough to remember
i hate how the memories make my heart feel tender
and weak
and sad
and bleak
and mad
i hate how i make excuses in my head
of why you did the things you did
i hate how it hardly matters at all
i hate how easy it is to fall
i hate that i'm so in love with you
i hate it
especially because of the rollercoaster i road for you.
i hate it
i hate it
i hate it so much
but what i hate much more is how you diminish that hate
and gain my trust
and make me feel like a field of yellow daisies
happy and free
and completely fearless.

i hate what i hate but i'd never hate you